


Room-mates [Frerard]

by Gold_Trash



Category: Killjoy, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Frerard, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-04-25 01:49:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4942006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gold_Trash/pseuds/Gold_Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Way brothers have been sent to a private school, when a new wave of students come in Gerard has to share a room with Frank Iero. The two surprisingly have a lot in common. Despite hardly knowing anything about him, Gerard is drawn to Frank. And with demons fighting inside and the uncertainty of his feelings, Gerard is drawn into dark secrets, drugs, and another lover….</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Running From Lions

Part One: What’s the Difference between a Nightmare and a Bad Decision? (Gerard Way)  
Chapter One: Running from Lions  
My breath comes in short, heavy bursts. Terror has sunk into every tiny crook and cranny in my brain. I have no idea what I’m running from, but I can’t think about that, my life depends on it. Pounding my feet hard against the ground, I push every ounce of energy in my body to carry me onward. A smothering hot breath is on my neck sending goose prickles to my arms, as every hair stands at attention. Fright freezes my muscles causing me to stumble. No. No! NO! I cannot fall. My heart feels as though it could burst out of fright. Searing pain shoots through my knees making my calves and feet go numb as hit hard, cold dirt. I fumble helplessly in the pale light trying desperately to regain footing. Just as I think I have footing to push myself off the earth a cold, leathery hand grabs my by the waist. The clammy hand and vicious nails wrap around my torso as if I were a helpless baby kitten. Screaming at the top of my lungs I struggle against the cruel hand. My cries are unheard, not even by me. Whimpering silently in pain claws dig into my flesh, tearing it like paper. Flailing I am pulled into the air than I am falling… falling… falling…  
Drenched in sweat, I wake up struggling. I fight desperately against my bedding until embarrassed I realize that I have awoken from the nightmare. I quickly glance over to the bed sitting across the room, glad that my roommate’s first impression of me isn’t me waking from a bad dream. That thought quickly vanishes into, “sooner or later he would have realized how bad I sleep.” It’s seven at night and I really thought the new transfer students would have been here by now. I was told this morning that someone would be moving in with me to save room. It made no sense considering they wouldn’t let me and Mikey share a room when our parents transferred us last fall.  
Snakingly getting up I walk to the bathroom for a cool drink of water. Maybe that will settle my nerves that are still on edge. Setting the glass on the edge of the sink I quickly splash some water on my face the dry it off. With a sigh I grab my glass of water and walk into the bedroom almost dropping it when I see my roommate has finally arrived.  
“H-hi”, I stutter weakly, recovering quickly from the shock. If there is one thing nightmares are good for it is teaching you to keep light on your feet. “Oh, hi”, he replies. I take a quick assessment of him as he takes his earphones out and sets his luggage down. Guitar, lip ring, skinny jeans; everything black. All excluding his eyes, but he has no control over that. His hair is black too, but that looks natural and not dyed.  
“The closet is big so feel free to put all your clothes and some of your other stuff in there”, I say to avoid an awkward silence. “I’m Frank by the way”, he speaks quietly while outstretching a hand. “Gerard”, I’m guessing he has a quiet voice, because everything he has said so far has been very soft, and he’s a very small guy in general. Not in a midget way, more of in a cute way. Confused as to why he isn’t shaking my hand I look and realize I’m still holding the glass of water. Cussing under my breath I set the drink on my nightstand, yet when I turn around Frank is no longer wanting a handshake, so I stand there uncomfortably.  
“Do you need a tour of the school?”  
“Since tomorrow is Friday I was told I could find my way around, then start school on Monday.” He gives a casual shrug of his shoulders  
“Do you want me to show you around?”  
“Oh no, you don’t have to do that! You can go to class, I think I can figure it out.” He avoids looking me in the eyes, going back to his unpacking.  
“No really it’s okay. Missing one day of class won’t hurt anything. It probably won’t even take the whole day, just an hour or two.”  
“Really you’ll do that?” Genuine surprise fills his voice.  
“Yeah, no problem.”  
“Okay thanks.”  
“Yeah. I’ll just check in with my teachers and tell them I’m giving my new roommate a tour.”  
“Okay. Cool. Thanks again.”  
I chose then to go check on my brother Mikey across campus. I really wasn’t the best of making small talk, and with the way that conversation was going it was about to become all ‘yeahs’ and ‘okays’. Reaching my brothers dorm I let myself in and head up to the third floor. As I walk down the hall I slow a little remembering that Mikey will also have a new roommate. As wonder if he is as mysterious as mine.  
I decide against barging in not wanting to make a bad impression on the new guy, so I knock instead. “Come in,” Mikey replies immediately. I notice right away with the extra stuff cluttering the floor that my brother’s roommate is here. I automatically like him seeing an Iron Maiden t-shirt on the vacant bed opposite of Mikey’s. “Hey! You must be Mikes brother! Nice to meet you!” Before I can really comprehend what is going on a big guy with lots of curly hair grabs my hand and gives it a few pumps. “Uh, hi,” I say lamely, “You are?” “The name’s Ray. Mikey over here has told me what a great artist you are, apparently all these pictures are yours?” He asks gesturing to the two walls that Mikey has completely covered with drawings and paintings I’ve done for him. What my room lacks in color and spirit, Mikes makes up for.  
“Yeah, I draw a bit,” I say not to leave him hanging, “Our parents thought we’d do better in an art school. You and Mikey will probably have guitar together,” I add taking note of his line of very expensive guitars laid up against his bed. Mikey, who has been silent until now says, “Yeah, I was going to take him on a tour of the school tomorrow. How’s your roommate?”  
“He’s fine I guess. Kind of quiet though.” I frown slightly remembering the short encounter earlier with Frank, “He’ll might in guitar with you guys,” I remember that he too owned a guitar. I seemed to be the only one around here not at this school for music. I liked listening and a few teachers said I had a good voice, but I wasn’t an outgoing guy. Anyways I really liked being an art. It was a natural talent I enjoyed.  
I head out the door to my own room seeing that Ray and Mikey are in a deep discussion about something. I’m glad to see their getting along, I was really afraid that he would end up with some asshole guy.  
I creep quietly into my room and try very hard not to make any noise once I notice that Frank is sound asleep. A quarter past nine! Was I really gone that long? Wanting to give Frank a good day tomorrow I decide to try and sleep despite the nightmare earlier. Swallowing a handful of the pills under my bed I hope for a dreamless sleep as I quickly fade out of consciousness.


	2. One in the Chamber

Luckily I don’t remember any dreams I had, but I do remember the look on Franks face when I woke up. It was a look of complete worry. Apparently he had tried to wake me up, but I was dead too the world. “I- I thought you were d-dead,” he stammers crouching beside my bed this morning, “You didn’t even wake when I shook you.” Of course I didn’t. That is what the pills were for, but I couldn’t tell Frank this, with that look on his face? No way, I didn’t want him to be scared for me when he could be having fun with other things. So all I tell him is that I am a heavy sleeper. Which is a dead faced lie for sure.  
I fumble to get dressed, and throw some water on my face, it’s too late for a shower now. Then I head to the cafeteria building were Frank said he would be. Halfway there I decide it would save more to tell my teachers that I will be gone. By the time I do make it to the cafeteria the bell has already rung and there is only a few students left eating. Frank is waiting for me at a back table with a cup of coffee in his hands.  
‘Where do you want to start?” I ask.  
“I don’t know, don’t you want to eat something first?”  
“No, I’m good.”  
“Anyone every tell you that’s not healthy?” His lips are hinting at a smile.  
“What?” I ask innocently.  
He smirks a little, but his mood swiftly veers back to serious, “I haven’t seen you eat anything since I’ve been here.” Dodging his comment that he obviously wants answered I say, “I eat, occasionally.” I really don’t want to explain that food doesn’t go well with my pills. Frank gives me a look that says I know there is more to that. It makes me uneasy, because that is the same look I get from Mikey when I lie. It’s like he sees straight through my lie, and I’m not really comfortable with someone I barely met being able to tell that much about me. Unable to take it anymore, I go get coffee. I can tell Frank would’ve liked me to get more but he only says, “We should probably start at the dorm section of campus since that is really the only place I’ve been.”  
So we take a stroll back to the dorms. “Where did you go last night? I turned around and you were gone.” “Over there,” I say pointing in the direction of Mikey’s dorm, “My brother who is a couple years younger than me got a new roommate too yesterday. I went to meet him, I check up on my brother every few days anyway.” Frank keeps his unrelenting hazel eyes on me the whole time I explain. I’m kind of unused to anyone caring that much about me except Mikey. What’s really weird is he seems to actually mean it.  
I fling my hand in direction of the regular school building, “That is where you’ll take your regular classes, math and such. Then turning towards some smaller buildings, “Each one of those buildings is a special art. The art classes here are longer than common core ones. I’m in what is called the visual arts, drawing and such. I’m guessing your field is music, because of your guitar.” I try to avoid those piercing eyes of his, kind and gentle as they, I’m don’t get looked at that a lot. “Yeah, I’m in music. I’m pretty good, I’m just not good at being center stage.” “That’s OK,” I feel the need to comfort him, “Neither is Mikey, my brother. Speaking of that, since there isn’t a lot of students here you and Mikey will most likely be in the same class.” He smiles, “Maybe you could introduce us?” He gives another shy smile, I’m starting to really like those moments. It kind of makes me want to smile also. “Yeah no problem.”  
Once we finish the tour we walk back to the dorm. “I should get to class now, I’ll be back later,” I glance once more at his small figure before turning to leave. “Gerard…” I turn back to him. “Why don’t you have any drawings hanging on the walls?” He disappears into our room before I can answer the question. I speculate how I could answer that question. Mikey has lots of my drawings hanging on his wall. I know I could decorate, I guess that would make my reality here real. It wasn’t that school here was bad. I did ok in classes, I never got anything below an A+ in art. No it wasn’t that. It was the nightmares. You would think living in a crime neighborhood would cause more nightmares. It did cause a lot, but ever since I came here they have gotten a hundred times worse. Without the pills I can’t get any sleep at all. Mikey would freak if he found out about the pills. Or even if he knew about the alcohol or cigarettes. I don’t want Mikes to worry, he seems to be very happy here. I want my little brother to be happy.  
A drizzle of rain is what it takes to wake me from my trance. I leave the dorm and instead of heading to class I find a quiet corner of campus to finish my coffee. I still haven’t calmed down so I pull a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of my bag. It’s a good thing teachers don’t go through bags. Lighting one and taking a drag I instantly feel my nerves start to calm. By the end of the smoke I’m ready to rejoin the world.

*****

Later after class I take a speedy visit to Mikey and Ray telling them to try and be really friendly to Frank on Monday. Mikey tells me there is a party tonight hosted by someone in public school, but everybody’s allowed. I don’t like parties except for the drinks, but I decide it might be a good idea to bring Frank and have him meet the guys. Ray and I may not be close, but I already have a really good opinion of him and I think he would be really welcoming to Frank. It’s weird I barely know my roommate yet I feel this urge to look out for him.  
I shove my key into the lock and open the door. Frank is lounging on his bed strumming his guitar. Seeing me he places the guitar on the ground beside the bed. “Hey.” “Hi, I talked to Mikes he said there’s a party tonight. We could go and you could get acquainted with some people. Mikey is really excited to meet you.” Frank nervously starts to fiddle with his hair, “Um… That’s nice of him….. I’m just not much of a party person…” He trails off getting a worried look in his eyes. “You don’t have to stay long, just long enough that Mikey and Ray can meet you, I’m not much of a party person either so you won’t get any argument out of me to go home.” That makes his lips turn up barely. “Besides it might break Mikes heart if you don’t come see him. He’s a sensitive guy.” Making a pouty face he gives a light laugh and gives in.


	3. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Her Clthes Off

I could tell Frank and I had the very same opinion about this the second we arrived at the party, way too many people. Frank shakily was toying with the hair on the back of his neck. Gently touching his shoulder, I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile. He tries to return it, but doubt is written all over his face. “Let’s get this over with,” I say leading Frank to the backyard where Mikey is supposed to be. At least we don’t have to search for him. He stands at the edge of an expensive patio talking with frank and some other blonde punk rock dude. “Hey Mikes.” “Geeeeeee,” he uses a very old nickname slurred out to make cringe. He’s had too much to drink I can tell that already. “Where’s Fwrannnnk?” I reach to steady him as he takes a couple clumsy steps. “Right here,” Frank replies emerging from his hiding spot behind me. While those guys get acquainted I search for a drink. A nearby lady sees me looking and comes over to give me a bottle of Vodka. If this is what these people are serving it’s no wonder everyone is already bouncing off walls.   
Suddenly aware of how many people are around me I take a big swig from the bottle. Then I turn back to where I left Frank with my brother. Frank is still standing there, but he isn’t engaging in conversation. Seeing how uncomfortable he is I lead him off to a vacant corner of grass and I flop down. I pat the grass next to me, but instead of sitting on the grass he sits on me. He isn’t heavy so I don’t mind. He appears very worked up over the amount of people here so I hand him my bottle. He takes it gladly. After he has a drink I have another one myself. I lean back against something stone, allowing Frank to situate himself on my lap. His legs lightly laying over mine, back against my chest, and soft hair tickling the side of my neck.   
Seeing him, and feeling him there leaning against me, stirs something in me, with the alcohol making me bold. Smoothly I reach up and stroke his soft, black hair. He doesn’t seem to mind. If anything I think he likes it with the way he leans his head on my shoulder. A short while of stroking and him not objecting, pushes me on. I slide my other hand slightly under his shirt rubbing my thumb across his stomach. He arches his back a little. I rub him just a little bit harder. His body stiffens against me. Not sure if that is good or bad. Teasingly I scrape my nail against his smooth skin. His breath hitches. I slide my hand lower so that my pinky is under the waistline of his jeans. He presses his head harder into my neck, eyes closed and lips barely parted.  
I know I should stop, I’ve already gone too far, but something about the look of pleasure on his face makes I lose control. Not being gentle, I scratch his side with my thumb. A small noise escapes his lips, but I barely hear it. Not willing to stop I scrape three fingers of my hand across his flat stomach. This time he gives a very audible moan, his body pressing harder against me with an enticing pressure. Eager to feel that again, I scratch him harder. He moans even louder, sending my whole body into a frenzy of ecstasy.   
Using the hand that was stroking his hair I push a few strands away from his ear bring my lips to his skin. Still moaning he tilts his head wanting more, so I let my hands fall to his hips tightly pulling him against me, while my lips place a series of kisses behind his ear and down his neck. His moans have continuously grown louder, but when I kiss his neck like that I’m sure the whole yard can hear him. His fingers lace through mine holding tightly to his hips.   
Someone loudly clears their throat. I reluctantly take my lips from Frank, and look up at the serving lady. “I’m going to have to ask you to find somewhere else to do that,” she states then walks off. Sliding a shocked Frank off my lap, I get up and dust myself off. The bottle of Vodka is laying on the grass with another one just like it, they both are empty. Huh, I don’t remember that. I look down at frank with an adorable startled expression, mussed hair, big doe eyes, and lips in the same position as they were before we were interrupted. Every nerve in my body wants to continue vigorously, but my head is pounding. I offer him a hand, “C’mon, we should get back to the dorm.” He grabs my hand and agrees.


	4. Where Did the Party Go

Pain everywhere. That is the first thing I know when I wake up the following morning. I shoot up in bed. What the Hell was I thinking?! I was all over Frank last night. I was practically kissing him! I just met him a few days ago. He probably thinks I’m a pervert now. Way to make a good impression Gerard. Way to go. I pull the covers over my head not wanting to face Frank. Yes, it did seem like he was enjoying it, but really?! What was I thinking?! I didn’t do things like that to girls nevertheless to my male roommate that hasn’t even been here for a week. What am I supposed to say to him?  
Someone is knocking on the door. “Gerard! You said you’d come with us to the music store,” Mikey whines through the door. Oh no, with everything going on with Frank I completely forgot every other conversation I had. I don’t remember promising Mikey anything, but I probably did. “I’ll be back in ten minutes, and you better be ready,” Mikey yells through the door. I guess I have to get up.  
Stumbling out of bed I go to the bathroom needing a shower. And I almost run into Frank, who happens to be standing at the bathroom sink. An awkward, deadly silence falls as we stare at each other. I take a deep breath trying to calm down. Heaven knows what he thinks of me. Unable to take it anymore, more Frank’s deep eyes than the silence, I finally speak, “So, what do you remember from last night?”  
“It’s a bit of a blur….”  
“Do you remember anything?” His eyes show he remembers something.  
“One thing does stand out… At first I thought it was just a dream, but…”  
“But…?”  
Frank lifts the hem of his pajama shirt to reveal scratch marks all over his sides and stomach. I gulp, remembering me drawing my nails along his skin. I look at the deepest ones that run horizontally across his stomach, and I remember him moaning. No! I can’t think about that. I hurt him! How could I do that?! A fresh wave of guilt washes over me. I almost fall over it is so strong. I reach out to grab the sink, barely missing it. As I fall to my knees Frank grabs me under the arms and slowly lowers me to the ground.  
“Gerard?” He asks worry covering his voice and filling every inch of his face. I turn away from him fighting off tears. “Please. I’m so sorry. Just look at me Gee….” He must have heard that from Mikey, nut wherever he learned it aside it makes me cry. What does he have to be sorry for? “Oh no…” I can hear in Frank’s voice that he too is about to cry. When I turn to face him I see a single tear falling down his cheek. Using my thumb I brush it away. “Don’t cry Frankie. You’ve done nothing wrong,” not able to look him in the eyes, I lower my gaze to the floor, “I just couldn’t believe I actually….”   
Unable to stop the tears anymore they stream down my face. Frank takes my sobbing form in his arms, stroking my hair to calm me. “It’s okay Gee. We were both drunk last night it’s okay. We both caught up in the moment.” I’m still crying so he gently rubs my back shushing me. “Last night did get a bit out of control, but you didn’t force me to do anything. We were just drunk having fun that’s all.” He says it so calmly that it makes me calm a little too. He takes my face in his hands, staring me in the eyes and says, “It is not your fault. You hear me?” I stammer back, “B-but I h-hurt you!” Without a moment’s hesitation he says, “Yes, you did,” fresh tears come from my eyes, “But I let you, and it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you okay?” He leans in and kisses a few of the wet drops on my cheeks then wipes away the rest with his hand.  
A few knocks on the door tells me that Mikey is back. Mumbling an apology to Frank I run into the bedroom, throw on some clothes, and comb my fingers through my hair while going to open the door. Mikey gives me a look like he knows I’ve been crying, but all he says is, “Come on. Let’s go.” Then rethinking he asks, “Does Frank want to come?” Bam. Frank appears out of the dorm all cleaned up. Why does he always look perfect?  
We lock the door and head down to Mikey’s car. Frank and Ray have found a sudden spark of friendship talking about guitars. When we get to the car I slide in next to Mikey while the other guys take the back. As we drive to the music store I can’t stop thinking about Frank. About last night. About this morning. About the fact that I haven’t done anything like that to a guy. That Frank said a lot this morning, but nothing about his feelings for me, or his feelings about last night. Mikes senses that something is wrong and he puts a reassuring hand on my knee. I smile at him, glad that no matter what we will always have each other.  
We get out of the car at the music store. Mikey waves Frank and ray inside, then he turns to me.” I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you need to know I’m always here.” I look at Mikey and tell him honestly, “I know Mikes.” After a quick brotherly hug, we head inside the store.   
Mikey goes over to Frank and Ray to talk about guitars while sneak back out into the ally for a smoke. It was really nice to hear my brother say he loves me, but that doesn’t stop me from shaking. Taking deep drags, I watch some birds fly around in a nearby tree. I wonder what life as a bird is like. Do they have nightmares? Are they ever unsure of where their life is headed?  
“Smoking is a bad habit you know.” Refocusing on my world I see Frank standing at the corner of the ally. “I know.” He strolls down the gravel to where I am standing, takes the cigarette, and inhales.” And you aren’t the only one with that poison.” Lamely I say, “I didn’t know.” He shrugs, “There is a lot to know about me.” The way he say it it almost sounds like an indentation.” Like what?” I inquire. “No one ever sticks around long enough to find out,” he states glumly. He puts out the now stump cigarette, and strolls back to the front of the store, giving me a sad smile before turning onto the sidewalk. Leaving me wondering how to respond to this new insight about Frank.

*****

Back at school I leave the rest of the guys to go ask my art teacher for a new supply of pencils. When I get back to the dorm with my supplies, Frank is sitting in his bed playing the guitar and humming quietly to himself. “You sound good,” I smile at him before going to my desk to draw.  
The hardest part of drawing for me is actually deciding what to do. I glance back at frank off in his little music world, then back to my paper. I pick up a pencil and begin to add lines to that page. Rough smooth, long, short, hard, soft, light, and dark. Within a few minutes the picture has taken shape. Sitting back I inspect my work.   
”You really are an amazing artist,” Frank breathes the words into my ear. I was so caught up in what I was doing I hadn’t noticed he had stopped playing. Looking down at the picture of him strumming his guitar I say, “You can have it.” I push the white sheet towards him, but his stunning eyes don’t move. They stay fixed on me.” Why don’t you want to keep your drawings?” Frank whispers the question, his face inches from mine.  
Deciding to give him a little Gerard insight since gave me some earlier, I reply, “I don’t want anything tied to me for when I have to leave.” I leave for the bathroom wanting to get the missed shower from this morning before going to bed.  
When I return Frank is faced the other way reading something, so quiet and quick as a feather I swallow some pills. Slipping in between the sheets I mumble a, “Good night Fwankie.” I think I hear, “Goodnight Gee,” but the drugs pull me into a perfect, dreamless world.


	5. Welcome to My Life

Piercing a blessed silence, is a cry. Not a baby’s cry, but a cry of anguish. I know that cry. It is the one I would wake up screaming every night since I was fifteen. This time it is not me. It’s Frank. Rolling out of bed, I go to his. He’s is squirming around like a bird that has had its wings ripped off. I reach out and gently push his hair back from his eyes. Though he is definitely asleep, still in Hell, his eyes are wide open. In them I see what I’ve never been able to tell anyone about. The pain, fear, and horrors that await me when I close my eyes.  
Turning the blanket over, I slip into bed beside him. Wrapping his small, shaking form in my arms. He struggles a little bit more, then slowly he relaxes, laying his head on my chest. His breathes soon become even, tickling the hairs on my arm. I’m tempted to fall asleep this way, but I know the monsters will return for me if I dare close my eyes. Careful not to disturb the now peaceful Frank, I slither out of his bed.  
It’s only five am and I want some more, so I take the pill bottle with me into the bathroom. Splashing some cold water on my face I sigh, thinking back to last school year. It was a Friday night and I had stayed after to finish an assignment. As I walked home though, someone grabbed me from behind. I felt a cold tip of a gun pressed to my head. “Give me everything valuable you have,” his gruff voice said. “Now!” I tried to tell my muscles to move, to show him I had nothing. But they would not obey. The bottom of his firearm collided with the back of my head, leaving me with a headache to put a migraine to shame. When I woke up, a stranger was helping me up. “Hey, kid. You okay, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Shaking my head (a horrible mistake), I turn and run all the way to my house. Every little noise spooking me.  
That night the nightmares started. Shivers run down my spine. Even though I am complete awake, I reach out to the bottle that can help me. My unsteady fingers knock the small vile off the edge of the counter. Cursing under my breath I go to pick them up, and find Frank standing in the doorway, his frame slightly outlined by the bathroom light. Startled I drop the bottle again. This time the lid pops off and all the tiny white circles scatter.  
Swallowing hard I look up into his hard, disapproving, hazel eyes.


End file.
